repetition

Maybe this is just becoming a place where I can write out my difficulties in life until they seem like lessons; until I can make the negatives turn into positives. I think that’s the reason I love writing so much. It’s the only thing that can repeat and repeat and repeat and I never get sick of it.

Everything else that repeats makes me want to dig myself my own grave sometimes. Either that or fly away from them.

I can’t fly away right now, though, so I’ll write them out.

Every day is the same. Just going through the motions. I told my boyfriend that today, that I’m just going through the motions. I also told him that there’s a difference between surviving and living. I told him that it’s a choice you make every day, but recently I’ve just been choosing to survive. It’s funny how advice for someone else usually relates to your life in one way or another.

I’ve written on this blog about living life to the fullest before, and it looks like I need to take some of my own advice. It’s weird how that happens, when the version of yourself that lived in the past knows better than you. I was looking through old pictures and that bitch really knew what she was doing. She was LIVING. Now she’s having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning because she knows there’s nothing to look forward to except for an angry customer at work and an exam at school. It’s not like I wasn’t doing school and work back then either, though.

So here we go. To the few of you reading this, I’m promising you and me to start living again, or trying at least. At this point, there’s nothing to lose except for just coming back in a full circle to where I already am.

That being said, I just got out of a nice bath and I’ll be waking up in 6 hours for a sunrise tomorrow… it’s been a sec : ) How are you going to live today, or tomorrow? Let’s make life more about living and less about surviving. We got this.