frankenstein again

I am currently sitting in a cafe reading Frankenstein for the third time. At the age of 19, I think reading Frankenstein three times might be a little much. Especially when it’s not necessarily enjoyed by that 19-year-old. That being said, a lot is being learned still. The things being learned are not just from the words of the book, but from the person reading it. Me.

Sometimes my brain surprises me. Today, while reading Frankenstein for the third time in this cafe, it’s racking itself with a lot of ideas and realizations. The first time I read Frankenstein I was in my 10th grade year in my honors English class. I had a big lack of confidence, in all aspects of myself. I knew I loved English and that I was good at it, but in junior high I opted for the “normal” level English classes. Going into high school I wanted to see if I could accomplish things in a higher level class. I get into the class with my teacher Mr. Warren. He explained what we were doing that year in class and I was terrified. Scared shitless. I didn’t believe in myself. But, I didn’t drop the class either.

A couple weeks later I was struggling with reading everything that he was assigning us and I was failing tests. I didn’t believe in myself. A couple months later I got a little more hang of the course. I turned in an essay, feeling okay with what was written, and Mr. Warren told me, “you could do better.” He gave me another chance to turn it in. I was surprised by the reaction. But I redid the paper and I turned it in again, and he handed it back to me with an A on the top of it. I could do better, and I did.

I’m reading Frankenstein with the book that Mr. Warren had given us and assigned us to fill with annotations and comments. I didn’t want to read Frankenstein and I didn’t want to write annotations and comments. But now I still have that book and I’m reading through the same pages I read through about 4 years ago and I’m realizing that perspective changes overtime.

I’m realizing that I was missing some points while reading it now that 10th grade me had caught. I’m realizing that Frankenstein might be a little easier and a little more enjoyable to read when you have the annotations that Mr. Warren made you fill out 4 years ago. I’m realizing that I probably should’ve listened to Mr. Warren a little more. I’m realizing that sometimes I really can do better and I should try to push myself more. I’m realizing that the yellow high lighter from high school and my purple high lighter from now don’t have to overlap while reading the words in Frankenstein, but I can still learn from what the yellow high lighter shows me.