present

I spend a lot of my thinking on my future. Where I’m going, how I’m going to get there, how excited and hopeful I am for it. I have such a vivid idea of where I want to go in life. Sometimes I’m really worried about whether I’m going to get to my ideal future or not. The point is, I’m just focused on my future.

Today I was walking to class thinking about this future, per usual, but instead, these thoughts were interrupted. I felt the crisp air hit my skin and I looked around at the gloomy clouds and colorful trees. I was stepping on the crunching leaves. In class, I looked around at my classmates and listened closely to what they had to say. I texted my brother about a new coffee shop that opened up near us. Later as I drove home I looked at the mountains that surround my house and the colorfulness of fall that has overtaken my hometown. I drove past my best friend’s house, the one I haven’t seen in months but it’s still nice to know how close she lives. I walked inside and sat on the couch next to my mom and talked to her about my day. I walked to my room and picked up some clothes on the ground before lighting a couple of candles. I sat in my room and looked around at the contents of it, the room that my mom loves to say, “looks exactly what a college girl’s room should look like.”

Today I was walking to class thinking about my future but I was interrupted by the beauty of the present. I’m so focused on this future that I’ve been talking about that I sometimes forget how much I really do like where I am. Although it’s not perfect and it’s not where I want to be forever, I know that there are going to be parts that I will miss so much.

So, today I decided to focus more on that. I won’t stop dreaming of my future, and once I get to this future I dream of I’m sure I will still be focused on something that is not the present, whether that be the past or the even further future. But, that being said, I bet, or at least I hope, I will still have these random moments of pure gratitude for where I am. These moments where I’m grateful for the journey.