time

As of recently, and currently as well, I have been plagued by the topic of time. Specifically, how I feel like I have so little of it.

The longer you live on this Earth, the shorter the days will feel because you have already lived so many of them in comparison. When you are young, the days kindly drag on because you have lived fewer of them. Time is just an optical illusion. It’s like when you eat your favorite food too much, so you begin to get sick of it.

Somehow, I am already the age of 23; I started this blog at the age of 17. (Actually, April is going to be 6 years from when I first posted on here. I cannot even believe that.) But I remember being 17 and feeling like I had too much time. I had time in my day (to be fair, it was during the pandemic, and that was a time in life in general where extra time was abundant to many people), but I also assumed that I had so much time to have my life figured out. I had time to have a million and one different hobbies, and within those hobbies, I would not only start but also FINISH each of their individual projects. Finishing something now feels like it should come with a medal of honor. And also, I had time to dream when I was 17.

Now, I wake at the beginning of my day, and I already feel like I don’t have enough time to get the things I want done. If I do end up completing my daunting To-Do List, I am exhausted, and I will remember that I forgot to put “relax” next to one of the little boxes on the page. Even if I had, the box would probably remain without a little X through it. Sadly empty. (This is kind of ironic… my last blog post, written over a year ago, said that I wasn’t going to write daunting To-Do lists anymore haha.)

On top of that, I am plagued by a ridiculously unachievable bucket list that I wrote at the age of 20 that listed “25 Things to do Before the Age of 25.” (I’m not even trying to be extremely negative; the list is truly a dreamer’s.) Whenever I stumble upon the list, I just cry because 1. There is no way I can complete it, and 2. I no longer believe in myself to complete it.

But time is a never-ending tick. There is no way to slow it. There is little control over how long 24 hours takes to create a day.

Right now, I am going to focus on what I can control:

• Stop doom scrolling and just stay off social media in general as much as possible (not only is it just a waste of time, but influencers are literally just people showing you how much they can do during their day while you are at your job).
• When you are on social media (because I do acknowledge how hard it is to cut it out entirely), try and consume content that is going to encourage you in a positive way. For me, this includes removing every platform from my phone other than Pinterest because it inspires me to be creative.
• Remember to leave room for the people in your life, even if that might risk having another uncompleted project. Relationships are important and inspiring.
• Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Honestly, I don’t have a pretty bow to wrap this one up with. Like I already said, time is unforgivably continuous. But what I will say is…

To-Do:

Write a blog post