april 2020

The other day I was talking to some close friends, one mentioned something I had told them and one of the others said “Natilee! Do you just tell everyone about your life? I thought I was special!” We all laughed and in this moment I realized…. I am the CEO of oversharing. (lol)

This post (or quite frankly any post I will ever write) is nothing short of that. I’ve decided that I want to share monthly updates of my journal entries. I sound crazy! I know. But I think

pure emotion

is beautiful.

(and honestly I’m pretty proud of what I put in my journal… but anyways;))

Here it is. My pure emotion.

April 2020.

April 1– I have always been so fascinated in astrology and hope to learn more about it and how the universe affects me and the others around me….. I felt like this was the first step towards that.

April 3/April 5- Through March and April I let a boy break my heart. The best way I dealt with this was spilling my emotion onto paper (aka how I deal with most of my emotions). These two days show quotes that helped me get through this and angery poems wrote for him. lol

April 7- Mr. Warren!!!!!!! My wonderful English teacher sent my class this email and it brought me to tears. It meant so much to have a teacher there for me during this time. I felt so loved and understood, which was something I lacked feeling during this time in my life. I could not thank him enough for this.

April 9- Ah! Using a paper and pen to write through my emotions once again. hehe

April 10- Basically the whole story I wrote here was kind of boring so I’ll explain…. We almost got a ticket because we were not supposed to go on this hike BUT we did haha. There were butterflies every where and I climbed across a cold river to get this flower lol #worthit. Little memories like these bring me so much happiness.

April 12- not going to lie here… not my favorite journal entry just because it doesn’t do Jesus justice lol (I never said I was an artist) But! I think Easter Sunday is a really cool holiday. The feeling of peace through out the day is just so lovely. OH! also this idea was 100% taken from THE Ashlie Porter haha love u ash<3

(also, one day I will tell you all my look on religion… maybe soon).

April 14- It’s kind of hard to tell, but under those dark lines are the lyrics to an unpublished song (written by Lewis Ainscough) that I heard on social media. The lyrics hit me so hard I just listened to the song over. and over. and over. AND OVER. ha. I wrote the sad lyrics and crossed them out, representing something towards the idea of leaving being the hurt that I was feeling this night.

April 15- Ah the global pandemic !! Sorry, I know that you can’t go anywhere without hearing about it. But staying inside is driving me INSANE. So I drew houses to represent staying inside.

April 17- I won’t upload a picture of each thought I was having but I’ll put a short explanation of each:

1. the butterfly effect… every little thing I do will effect my future

2. I had my last 2 months of high school without even knowing it.

3. You can go from knowing everything about someone to being complete strangers in such a short amount of time.

4.Everything would be so different if corona never happened. (crazy)

4.I’m not scared of many things, but ones of the things I am scared of is my mind.

April 19- After driving an hour and a half out to what’s called The Jetty Spiral with my friend for her senior pictures, I found myself sitting in the sand, next to the Salt Lake, watching the sunset. Sunsets are my favorite thing ever, and this sunset was nothing short of absolutely beautiful. As my friends took her senior pictures, I sat alone and started realizing the beauty of life. This is what I found………

April 21- Wanting to be okay when you’re not.

April 22- I love the earth and everything it has to give us. This day I drew the view I have outside my bedroom window. It’s simple and I love my dandelions (even if others look at them as just weeds).

April 25- Sometimes finding peace comes from the unexpected.

April 31- April overview

(thanks for the support guys. It means the world)❤